He started by asking….. “Who is next on the queue?“
Someone stood up, “Doctor, kindly may I introduce myself. My name is Mr Oludhe. The right pronunciation for this name is oo- luu- the, but of cose with ‘dh’, not a ‘th’. Am a luo by tribe, and a graduate from ma……..
Doctor: Please tell me, What happened to your arm?
Oludhe: I broke it.
Doctor: Where and how did that happen?
Oludhe: Okay. It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I was on the second floor balcony of that my house in Karen, not the one in Lavington but...
Oludhe: I broke it.
Doctor: Where and how did that happen?
Oludhe: Okay. It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I was on the second floor balcony of that my house in Karen, not the one in Lavington but...
“Is that where you broke your arm, at the balcony?” The Doctor asked impatiently.
Oludhe: No, no! ... I was sipping that, my scotch whisky slowly... you know my son recently came from the UK and he had brought me some blue label. Anyway... as I continued sipping, I realized that the sun's rays were not getting directly to me, as the satellite dish was blocking them.
Before I could instruct the domestic engineer to automatically turn away the dish, my butler James came up the balcony and informed me that there was this call on my social cellular phone. I reminded him to always bring the cellular up instead of calling me. As I hurried down the marble escalator...
Before I could instruct the domestic engineer to automatically turn away the dish, my butler James came up the balcony and informed me that there was this call on my social cellular phone. I reminded him to always bring the cellular up instead of calling me. As I hurried down the marble escalator...
Doctor: Oh okay, I guess that is when you...
Oludhe: No, as I was going down, I noticed the garage door was open and a car alarm was on. I stopped to check and indeed my new model Prado was missing. I knew Mama Akinyi; my beautiful second wife had taken it. Akinyi is our second daughter, now in Boston USA. She is named after my late grandmother, who passed away in 1972 after a “sort” illness. I have always warned Mama Akinyi never to use the 4 by 4 on weekends, because of the recent spate of car-jackings. I always advise her to either use, the Mercedes 230E or the BMW 325I which are not very attractive for thugs. That reminds me, I will have to tell my secretary to call “car-track " first thing on Monday - Jowa! I need to update my mobility inventory with them. So, as I was saying....
Doctor: (With some laughter) Yes Mr. Oludhe, car theft incidences are rising and it is becoming a dangerous place. But
How did you break your arm?
Oludhe: Yes I was coming to that. On my way to pick the cell tel I heard a hissing sound. I stopped to check where it was coming from. Ahhaa…., it was from the bathroom. Mama Akinyi, for some reason, had left the Jacuzzi on. Luckily the temp and speed were at the minimum. I usually recommend such speed and temp so that we do not overload the UPS support system, especially when our son's “Home theatre” system is on.
Doctor: Mr. Olu... (Now showing a lot of impatience)
Doctor: (With some laughter) Yes Mr. Oludhe, car theft incidences are rising and it is becoming a dangerous place. But
How did you break your arm?
Oludhe: Yes I was coming to that. On my way to pick the cell tel I heard a hissing sound. I stopped to check where it was coming from. Ahhaa…., it was from the bathroom. Mama Akinyi, for some reason, had left the Jacuzzi on. Luckily the temp and speed were at the minimum. I usually recommend such speed and temp so that we do not overload the UPS support system, especially when our son's “Home theatre” system is on.
Doctor: Mr. Olu... (Now showing a lot of impatience)
Oludhe: Just hold on daktari ... So I when I picked up the phone, I said “Hello, Hello...Hello”, but nothing. I became upset because I think the caller from State house had disconnected, I can’t understand why he didn't leave a message after the beep. All my un-answered calls including the car mobiles are automatically redirected to a CAM system. Daktari, a CAMS system, you know is a "Central Answering Machine System".
Anyway, on my way back I did not notice the protruding wire from the satellite dish. I had on many occasions told Multi-Choice to send in a qualified technician...
Doctor: ...is that where you tripped?
Oludhe: No, as I was avoiding the wire, I tripped on the Multi-choice 250 channel decoder and fell on the 200 year old classical family piano.......I..was about to...
Doctor: Thank you Mr. Oludhe. Such an expensive trip will cost you only 8,500.
Oludhe: (hands over the money excitedly...)
Doctor: Not Kenya shillings, Dollars!
Doctor: Not Kenya shillings, Dollars!
Oludhe: Aii....yawa.....then I shall write you a cheque, drawn from my overseas account with Fast Boston Bank Massachusetts....you can not go wrong on that one!!
Omera, ah jowa!!